I finally saw the new "Conan" the other day. I found it on Netflix so I watched it in the middle of the night when no one was awake to bother me. I wasn't expecting much as most everyone I know had seen it in the theaters and said that it was a slightly below average to poor movie. Very few of them really liked it which is what ultimately kept me from going and watching it myself.
Well, I was surprised to say the least. I actually thought it wasn't too bad. Now don't get me wrong, the characters could have been developed a bit better, but overall I think the movie was fine. There was enough action and fighting to make it worthy of being a true "Conan" story. Also, somebody on the team must have looked at lot's of B&W Conan magazines because this Conan movie had more than it's fair share of topless "wenches."
Jason Momoa made a pretty good Conan though I became annoyed with his head down positioning and looking up. To me Conan was so confident of his abilities that it would seem to me that his pride would cause him to hold his head high. Still, he looked good as Conan, reminding me of the younger Conan of John Buscema fame rather than the massive warrior presented by Frank Frazetta. Ron Perlman was excellent as Conan's father Corin, and though brief, possibly had the best role in the movie. Stephen Lang and Rose McGowan fit their roles as the murderous Warlord Khalar Zym and his half-witch daughter Marique. They were pure evil through-and-through. Nonso Anozie was excellent as Conan's Zamoran Pirate friend, Artus. The only thing missing here was Belit, Queen of the Black Coast for the pirate ship. Oh well, you can't have everything. Unfortunately, the role of Tamara, played by Rachel Nichols, seemed to get lost in the shuffle a bit, probably leading some to give the movie a lower rating. Though she played the part well, there was a lot more to this essential character than could be seen on screen. I mean this girl is the last pure blood descendent to the Sorcerers of Acheron. She should have been able to light the screen up and not act as a supporting character. After all, the murderous Khalar Zym and his Sorceress daughter have plundered village after village to gather pieces of the "Mask of Acheron," which holds untold power. They are seeking the last pure blood descendent to the Sorcerors of Acheron in order to sacrifice her, bringing the mask back to life with Tamara's blood.
Anyway, enough of the people, what good is a Conan movie without "MONSTERS." I mean, Robert E. Howard created some really neat beasties for Conan to fight and the first part of this movie version didn't even hint at any monsters. Well, I wouldn't be disappointed for long. Just about the time I noticed the lack of monsters, Marique called upon some really cool Sandmen for Conan to fight. These weren't your ordinary Sandmen built on the beach, nor were they like the Golden Age Sandman, the modern age Sandman, or villain turned good-guy Sandman. Nope, these guys were like Sand Demons and they were out to get Conan and Tamara and...well watch the movie and see for yourself. And don't forget to keep watching for the Cthulhuesque tentacled terror that appears later on. Yes, Houston, we do have MONSTERS!!!
Anyway, I thought "Conan the Barbarian" (2011) was a pretty fair movie so why don't you check it out for yourselves. I give it 2 1/2 screams on the "Creature Scale."
Have a Wonderfully Action Packed Day!!!
John (aka, The "Creature")
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